How not to date!
Hello terrible twenties!! So after almost a full decade of horrible dating experiences and trying to navigate through “unofficial relationships” I am finally at a place where I never thought I would be. I have decided not to date for a while. My online dating sites have been deactivated and my chemistry.com membership will be canceled June 22.
How many times have you been told “Maybe you should be alone for a little while?” Well, every time I end an unofficial relationship (I always think after months of courting and dating that we are in a “not labeled” relationship but my partner(s) always think differently). One guy was surprised that I asked him “So you aren’t interested in dating me anymore?
After weekend getaways to Atlantic City, Hamptons, and his place, biweekly dinners, bed and breakfast, happy hours, personal foot rubs, romantic candle lit nights, and just for two dancing to Bob Marley and LL Cool J while enjoying the finest fines in his living room… I thought we weren’t dating. Apparently, we were just friends. Welcome to 2010 friendships and call me traditional!
Well, my older (and married) sister hits me with the same thing, “Maybe you need to be alone for a while, love yourself” I thought if I love myself anymore I will need to file for bankruptcy and turn into the 1st asexual human being, BUT there is nothing wrong with being 26 ½ and wanting to be alone. Right? It’s not like I am giving up, just taking a “leave of absence” and for the most important person.. ME!
I will confess the idea of being alone was SCARY! No one to take me to dinner, no one to call at night, no one to do weekend activities with, no missed calls or random text messages, no one to cuddle with or share your last piece of dessert with. No Man! Then I realized, I haven’t had any one this in years and if I get a taste of it, its always bitter sweet, I’m always just a stepping stone!
Just of the record, I’ve had men who, don’t show up to dinner, don’t call me back, dump me via text message, call me at 2AM, ask me to pay the bill, aren’t “available” and cant cuddle because either they don’t want to get emotionally attached or have plans with their “boy” at 10AM on Saturday morning!
Anyway, I think its time to build a healthier approach to self love, and catch myself when I fall! The plan is to delete all past boys from my life, and focus on me, myself and I- creating a love life for me and blogging/ranting about the journey.
6 wonderful months of peace and calmness and I want to blog/twitter (lunalove321...add me) about it.
So very simple, here are the rules.
How not to date:
1- No talking on the phone for more then 10 minutes, and only once a week.. (assuming someone does call/ or is interested)
2- No dinner dates. Only lunch dates and NO more then 2 per month. (The chances of me getting drunk off mimosas or sangria during lunch is unlikely, so I will be 100% or 98% sure of my choices)
3- No holding hands. (this CLEARLY is an HUGE indication that you like me)
4- No sex (that’s pretty much a given…once that happens I clearly think you are my boyfriend)
5- No cooking for a man (which includes picnics and making him a sandwich, furthermore, I don’t want him cooking for me either.)
6- No gifts, even if it’s as simple as a card or Tylenol
7- No emailing, no writing on your facebook wall or returning pokes!
8- No meeting friends or family
9- No sleepovers! (Might have to change this in August when I move to the city!)
10- No commitment, wedding, engagements talk or future planning of no sorts!
Now lovers, any thing else I should add to this list? How do you NOT date?
*And of course I am willing to make friends but friends, just friends, like second grade friends not junior year in college friends.
By LunaLove
Hello terrible twenties!! So after almost a full decade of horrible dating experiences and trying to navigate through “unofficial relationships” I am finally at a place where I never thought I would be. I have decided not to date for a while. My online dating sites have been deactivated and my chemistry.com membership will be canceled June 22.
How many times have you been told “Maybe you should be alone for a little while?” Well, every time I end an unofficial relationship (I always think after months of courting and dating that we are in a “not labeled” relationship but my partner(s) always think differently). One guy was surprised that I asked him “So you aren’t interested in dating me anymore?
After weekend getaways to Atlantic City, Hamptons, and his place, biweekly dinners, bed and breakfast, happy hours, personal foot rubs, romantic candle lit nights, and just for two dancing to Bob Marley and LL Cool J while enjoying the finest fines in his living room… I thought we weren’t dating. Apparently, we were just friends. Welcome to 2010 friendships and call me traditional!
Well, my older (and married) sister hits me with the same thing, “Maybe you need to be alone for a while, love yourself” I thought if I love myself anymore I will need to file for bankruptcy and turn into the 1st asexual human being, BUT there is nothing wrong with being 26 ½ and wanting to be alone. Right? It’s not like I am giving up, just taking a “leave of absence” and for the most important person.. ME!
I will confess the idea of being alone was SCARY! No one to take me to dinner, no one to call at night, no one to do weekend activities with, no missed calls or random text messages, no one to cuddle with or share your last piece of dessert with. No Man! Then I realized, I haven’t had any one this in years and if I get a taste of it, its always bitter sweet, I’m always just a stepping stone!
Just of the record, I’ve had men who, don’t show up to dinner, don’t call me back, dump me via text message, call me at 2AM, ask me to pay the bill, aren’t “available” and cant cuddle because either they don’t want to get emotionally attached or have plans with their “boy” at 10AM on Saturday morning!
Anyway, I think its time to build a healthier approach to self love, and catch myself when I fall! The plan is to delete all past boys from my life, and focus on me, myself and I- creating a love life for me and blogging/ranting about the journey.
6 wonderful months of peace and calmness and I want to blog/twitter (lunalove321...add me) about it.
So very simple, here are the rules.
How not to date:
1- No talking on the phone for more then 10 minutes, and only once a week.. (assuming someone does call/ or is interested)
2- No dinner dates. Only lunch dates and NO more then 2 per month. (The chances of me getting drunk off mimosas or sangria during lunch is unlikely, so I will be 100% or 98% sure of my choices)
3- No holding hands. (this CLEARLY is an HUGE indication that you like me)
4- No sex (that’s pretty much a given…once that happens I clearly think you are my boyfriend)
5- No cooking for a man (which includes picnics and making him a sandwich, furthermore, I don’t want him cooking for me either.)
6- No gifts, even if it’s as simple as a card or Tylenol
7- No emailing, no writing on your facebook wall or returning pokes!
8- No meeting friends or family
9- No sleepovers! (Might have to change this in August when I move to the city!)
10- No commitment, wedding, engagements talk or future planning of no sorts!
Now lovers, any thing else I should add to this list? How do you NOT date?
*And of course I am willing to make friends but friends, just friends, like second grade friends not junior year in college friends.
By LunaLove
No comments:
Post a Comment