I am not looking for a father!

I have a huge confession to make. I went on a date! For some reason it’s so easy to meet guys now that I am not looking but the Universe is not too happy about my lack of focus from my 6 months promise to self.

The date was horrible, probably the worst date ever! The doctor to be showed up to the date with his whateverscope that doctors use to hear your heart beat. I was blown away but to make it more uncomfortable, the girl next to me asks him if he was a doctor! See those are the moments I wish I was Casper! Throughout the evening he spoke about his issues with being so privileged and his adoption pains. Then he even told me that he loves children and wants children more than anything in life.
What 27 year old wants children more than anything in life- a healthy 27 year old! I want a snicker bar more than children right now and children are on my wish list. Anyway, after the 1st glass of wine he grabs my hand and doesn’t let it go for a second. (how sweet it looks in the movies when you are into the guy, but how its gross when you think the opposite) We were playing cat and mouse with my hand. It was my cue to end the date- but the doctor had other plans for us. After I came back from the ladies room, he tells me to finish my drink and that we are getting pizza. I politely said, “no thank you, I have a long commute” and he offered his place. I thought I was being punked once again (Ashton come out now!). This could not be happening to me- if anything the Universe wants me to meet a nice guy and fall in love in this very important time in my life when I am telling the Universe the opposite. But I should know better, the only thing the Universe and I agree on is “I am not ready or probably ever be ready for a relationship.”

Back to the stupid guy! He demands that I drink up, and because he sounded so much like my father I slowly raised the glass to my lips but as soon as the wine touched my lips and said, “no!” I tossed a $20.00 bill to him and grabbed a taxi.
Not only did he remind me of my father but he acted like he wanted to be my father! My message to him- I am no longer looking for a daddy! I should have kept my $20.00 bill!

So instead of being bummed about this- well I took 24 hours to process this. I realized that more than ever- I want nothing else but to be alone! Yes, single and alone!!!! There are a lot of horrible dating stories waiting to happen and I don’t want to be a protagonist anymore.

So back to my life, my full life! Back to signing up for community service, walks, charity events, back to being focused on the job, finding an apartment, moving, smiling and embracing the peace!

It’s always nice to be reminded of what I really want- Thank YOU Universe!

I'm falling in love...

You know when you crawl into liking a guy. This is not love a first sight, but when you take your time to see what you like about him and take it slow? Well, today I realized that I am feeling that way about myself. When I wrote "I am falling in love with myself" I did not even think about the value of that. With all honestly, the more I learn about me, the easier it is to just fall in love with me and shine my own light and the easier it is to listen to what people have said and what the world is telling me!

2 months into this blog and its been a lovely commitment. Someone tweeted that when you are dating someone it takes 3-9 months to say "i love you" or at least feel it. I now believe her. It's a wonderful journey- full of good days and not so good day but I know i want to continue with this commitment. The one that you are dating should also know, if its heading towards love.

Today I also realized that the closure that I wanted from the X man, I no longer need. When he said "i dont know how i feel about love or if i am ready for a relationship" that was my cue to walk away and it was also enough closure. I know I will never hear from him again, but I also know i dont need him to explain what went wrong. Letting go means to have faith and to move on. It means realizing that I am way to good to hold on and letting go means loving yourself 1st!

Cheers to a happier summer!

By,
Luna <3 Love

Yellow, Orange & Floral Prints, for sure!

What’s your favorite color? What’s your favorite movie, book, month, holiday, blah, blah blah? How many times do people still ask you these questions as adults, especially on those lame 1st dates or phone conversations? Well, my answer has always been, “it depends, I don’t have favorites, because they change all the time.” I thought that was my honest answer, but some people thought I was crazy for not having favorites to market myself with. See, the thing about me is that I have to be honest, and if it doesn’t make sense to me, then I don’t share it. But of course I had a list of 3-5 things in each category that I kept around as potential favorites, just in case I didn’t want to explain to people my philosophy on favorites (I never met someone that “got” my concept, as if I failed 2nd grade for not having a favorite). Lately, (since I have been really looking at myself) I have been re-discovering things that I really like and I have been building on these things.

When I was younger, the color yellow and orange made me really happy; just looking at them gave me a reason to explore, but somewhere along the lines, maybe 5th grade, blue and red became the “popular” colors so I had to choose team red or team blue, so I chose blue. Blue has become my favorite color but I didn’t know why because blue does not really do anything for me. This is the same thing/feeling I have for so many things- music, films, hobbies, food, drinks, tv shows, and the list goes on. So I’ve been looking back and looking at me and asking me what the honest favorite is, even if when I say I love yellow and orange people look at me like I am from Mars. I also like flowers and floral prints and for some reason I gave up on them because people used to call me an “old lady” for liking flowers! So as I think about me today and my future, a lot of stress is just lifting away because I am removing the fears and the pressures and just being me and guess what, I am falling in love with me!

So two months of this journey are wrapping up and I am so proud of my achievements. They are not many, but I’ve explored my anger with men, I have re-design my vision board, I have shifted wants and needs and I have admitted to myself that I like flower prints, even floral bed sheets and if you don’t like it, then that’s okay, it makes me happy. Oh, and yellow and orange are two colors that make me smile and thinking about them makes me want to be a Crayola!

The great thing is that I’ve stopped acting for the public and now I have more time to enjoy myself and I love it! I am having a great time with me and living in the moment and feeling all 5 senses at a time is a great blessing- almost feels surreal.

The other day I saw the book “Where the wild things are.” This was amongst my favorite children’s book and I asked myself, “What in the world is this book really about?” Actually I have always wondered because in the 2nd grade I did not understand it but because I was told to chose a favorite book (and 3 little pigs was already taken- I LOVE THE 3 LITTLE PIGS AND LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD), I chose that one and 20 years later I still say it’s my favorite but I really do not get it! (I’m really lost and its sad because I studied children’s literacy- you are probably thinking why am I reading this blog, Luna is crazy)… but what I can tell you is that after days of thinking about the book, re-reading it and even watching the movie, I can say that I too saw Max in me.


I was angry, I didn’t like change and I felt like change was constant in my life. I did not want to deal with my realities and I left to another world where it was fine to just be.

During my very relaxing and therapeutic vacation to Cabos this month, I made the same decision that Max did- I wanted to come back!

Since my arrival from the wild things, I’ve been calmer, happier, focused, determined and stronger. I’m not sure if the book is a favorite children’s book but it’s a book I will keep on my bookshelf- its very nice illustrated and Max and I have a lot of things in common.

So, not to give you more work- but why are your favorites your favorites? I hope they make you feel like being a crayola or even like an old lady!

By, LunaLove

Rediscover I

Back in January I had a brilliant idea to have a vision board party (thanks Oprah) so I invite my close friends to my house for food, drinks and a night of arts and craft. It was an amazing experience to have all my friends work and put together a vision board- a poster of pictures and words that represented their goals for the year.

I made my own vision board and for the past 6 months it’s been the first thing I look at when I wake up. Today I decided to make a new vision board because the old one became something I had to achieve and not something I wanted to achieve.
Furthermore I did not want or need much of what the old vision board had.

It had the following things:
1- A hot guy (Jacob from Twilight) – I guess I don’t want a bf any more
2- A couple kissing at the beach- Not happening but I’m still going on vacation as a single lady
3- Treadmill- I did sign up for the gym and try to stay consistent
4- Yoga – for my piece of mind.
5- A random girl “looking sexy”
6- Lose weight, reach happiness, move forward, create happiness, take care of my hair

So the visions from above aren’t what I want or how I want to move forward with my life anymore. They aren’t important- well most of them. They are empty and don’t provide me with direction to a healthier, happier life, so I could easily lose myself. Hmmm, maybe that is exactly what it did.

But there is hope, at any point in your life you can rediscover or reinvent yourself. You can start from scratch; you can create a new you, a new vision and it can all begin inside of you! How many times have you or I, wanted to move across country just to have a new beginning? I have, and I realized that the change needs to happen inside of me and it does not matter what zip code I relocate to.

My new vision board has things that matter to me and give me essence, some are below. Well at least I think so...

1-I want to stand on my own, have stability and ownership and moving to Brooklyn in exactly 8 weeks. This is a way for me to take care of myself.
2-I want to work hard and achieve tenure at my job- assistant professorship and more stability so I can continue to take care of myself, financially. How important is this!!
3-There is a picture of me and not a random girl. I am beautiful and sexy-it’s all about maintaining it, again taking care of myself.
4-Inside comfort- it’s not as broad as happiness, but as long as “I” is comfortable I will be happy.
5-Healthy eating, I can work out and no excuses- there are in small print but are very important.
6-Still have fun with self control! I want to make it my business to carry myself with respect at all times, which includes probably saying no to my third drink and this is my sexier me.

This is the middle of the year and it’s a perfect time to start over, re-evaluate yourself and it’s not starting from scratch but pushing yourself to become a healthier and happier you!

By Lunalove