Just dance...

Something happened last night around 7 or 8 o’clock, something HUGE! I was sitting watching or trying really hard to find something to watch besides the Yankee game and I felt a very powerful energy lift me up and I started dancing in my living room. Yes- all alone, just dancing, excreting energy, but let me explain something about myself, and this will all make sense.

When I was younger, I knew I had way too much energy for my own good. My mother new that as well and would tell me “control your self” -HA, but I did not know how. The best thing my mom could think of was to put me in teams in school- so I played for the Lady Jaguars, then Lady General’s basketball team in middle school and joined a bowling league on the weekends while attending Catholic classes and keeping my grades above a 90 average. Then in high school I joined the cheerleading team and excelled without knowing much about gymnastic but by tryouts I had one of the best toe-touchs on the team. All this however was not enough, I would always feel a crazy energy around 7 or 8 o’clock and I would just dance in my living room. I did this alone or in front of people because I could not think of any thing else to do with such a powerful energy. In college, I did the same thing. My poor roommate thought I was crazy for dancing in front of a mirror and somewhere around sophomore year I stopped dancing. Something changed, I lost myself; something was taken away from me. Maybe it’s when my depression started—yea that was it, I have not been the same person in my own skin since then. Until last night—I started dancing again and WOW what joy I felt. I welcomed myself!

I danced and a wave of answers and clarity entered my space. I thought of how happy I was and could only think of one thing, I said thank you- “I have all I’ve ever wanted and its time for more.” I danced for about 10-15 minutes and suddenly got really tired- more tired then usual, so tired I was asleep by 9:30.

So this is what I did in an hour and some of the things that totally made sense:

1- I researched a Catholic Young Adults group in Park Slope and signed up for their next bar-hopping, I mean church-hopping event. This group is made up of young, professional catholic’s from Brooklyn and they even have happy hour events! I never thought in a million years I would find such a group.

2- I penciled myself to attend the next Sunset Park community council meeting because I love my neighborhood and I want to be part of its voice.

3- I signed up to Chimestrydotcom again!! CRAZY, right? Well, I thought- You are giving your X-lover (lets call him Peter) too much power, and he is controlling you without being present in your life. You got hurt, but you learned a lot about men, dating, and yourself- while online dating has its cons it’s also an easy way to meet men. Peter is just one mistake- so I decided that I am more than ready to mingle again. I am not scared and I want to jump right in with both feet again. If my birthday wish is going to come true I have to put in the work and while not dating was what I needed it is no longer what I need or want.

4- Lastly, for so long I’ve wanted to get back into the gym but I could not find any motivation. I would wake up and instead of heading out, I would tell myself "like you 10 pounds over weight, you're sexy." I waited kindly and patiently until last night I said, “Its time to get in shape and take care of your body, lady- healthy is sexier.” This morning I signed up!! I’ll be heading to a gym in a nice neighborhood.....

I common thread with all of the above- they are all positive things that I have wanted to do but did not have the energy, faith or courage. Someone told me to put in the work into your love life, because fairytales are for Disney- so all of the above can lead me to meeting new people. If I want to meet my soul mate, half-orange, life partner, boyfriend, baby-daddy..whatever you want to come THAT GUY I am looking for, then I have to put in the work, but not desperately, I have to put myself out there and do things I enjoy…....this is what people have been telling me but suddenly it made perfect sense. I know what I like and want to do, I am not afraid of myself or others and creating opportunities is my part of the “work I have to put in.”

A lot happened in that hour and then someone tweeted me “tomorrow is a full moon” and while people think its hocus pocus, I am very in tune with the moon (I mean -LUNA), Universal energies, and I am not afraid but embracing ALL of it! Time is needed to heal and its time for me to move forward, forget about what everyone one thinks and just dance!

BEST,
Lunalove