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I have a huge..BIG and important testimony- I just don't know what it is yet. In the meantime I work hard, take care of my SELF and try hard at achieving all my dreams.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

New York, Can I have it all?



Earlier this week I attended a professional development conference in New Orleans, Louisiana. I was surrounded by experts, professionals and leaders in my field. It was a great experience and I came back to my NYC job full of ideas for my department to move forward. Ok,this blog is not going to be about my findings and notes which I still have to put together and email my colleagues but its about something more serious: I saw a huge question mark!

At the moment, my field like many others continues to change because those who once hoarded this field are now dying or retiring which is leaving room for younger professionals to take leadership roles. I myself have just stepped into one of those positions at age 27. Three years ago a career adviser told me that by the time I was 40 I could be assistant director or director, well – I can’t wait to send him my new business card. YAY

Anyway, out of the 800 professionals from all over the country, there were the few 40-45 professionals who were between the ages of 26-36. It was strange to see them there and after getting over the small shock I approached each and every one of them over the course of 3 days and did the small talk, only to find out that they were young, mostly women, leading professionals and married!!!!!

Stunning rings and impressive titles- Hello Universe, are you reading this? It’s all I want!! And don’t judge me because there is nothing wrong with wanting to be married and starting a family.

Sarah Palin, Jennifer Lopez, Hilary Clinton...why can they have it all?

How was this possible? When did they find the time to work over time, write proposals, never fail, rise above challenges, get pushed around by tenured faculty AND date, commit and marry? Did they have friends, were they happy, did they sell their souls to the devil and why did they look so happy? Ok, let’s continue the small talk…. "So what school do you work for?" "Oh where is that?" A small town in... Minnesota, Colorado, Seattle, a city in Texas that I still can’t pronounce...and I am bilingual, New Hampshire, Upstate NY (been to that small town..yikes), North Carolina, Illinois- "oh yes I know Illinois…Chicago I said." “Oh no it’s about a two hour drive from the airport, it’s a small town.” OH. I was not going to give up my research now, so I actually download a map application to figure out where these towns were...this felt horrible as I was GREAT at USA geography.

OH SHIT Einstein! This is the very important variable….AHHHHHA. Is NYC the problem? After all…location, location, location.

I did meet a 34 year old women who was engaged from the tri-state area…well Jersey City, but isn’t that a city? yea, a 34 year old bride.....but im not judging.

I am not making any excuses but most of the time I am mentally and physically exhausted and meeting someone is the last thing I think about. I go to the bar to get a drink, period! I don't want to talk about work and what i do, that's why i am drinking, and i don't care about your Wall Street job, they all sound the same...BORING!

I also love giving to my career and I am not willing to give any less. So I will do what is logical, point my finger at another direction.

Are men in NYC even thinking about commitment and marriage and dating a successful independent young professional lady with character?  Men in other cities, towns or communities do not sign up for online dating, they do however marry. They marry because after college, you have a few years to yourself; you pick a career, then you pick a lady and marry her. They are logical! You marry her because it’s part of life’s expectations to settle down and start a family before your libido stops or more importantly because its what is important in life…love and family and taking turns doing the dishes.

I dated a guy who was using maca power, an indigenous ingredient to keep it up! Why didn’t he stop and think about settling down 5 years before his 34th birthday? Well because he was living the NYC bachelor life to the fullest at age 34...all alone because his buddies got the memo and are happy going to their 2 year old play date. But he is left dating 26 year old who he feels are to passionate for him. Drink more maca if you are reading this and things would be leveled.

Another factor is that there are so many women in NYC that men can select the model looking one. I noticed that the women at the conference were not close to being super models, if anything I felt like the skinny bitch around them asking for my dressing on the side and choosing either dessert or an appetizer...why could they have both? Appetizer/dessert and career/marriage?

Ok, back to NYC where I feel like a fat cow and where weight watchers is my relationship.

Choices choices choices…..well I can move to a small town and live the fairytale life where a guy sees me in the supermarket, asks me for my number, courts me for 6 months and takes to the altar.

Or

I could filter the NYC drama and get over it by adding MORE confidence to SELF.

I am looking at the Universe and fearlessly saying, I will have it all. I will have my career which makes me happy, I will buy my own property in the near future, I will find the man that looks like Mark Sanchez and Damon Salvatore, I will eat an appetizer and dessert at dinner time and I will marry and still live in the city
that is home to me.

The plan is simple- just keep doing what i am doing, after all 2011 is my year!

I can have it all..... in.....NEW YORK.

Hit me up if someone wants to explore Jersey City with me.. LOL!

Feeling great,
Lunalove

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for this. You have once again inspired a new blog post!

    ReplyDelete