..and just like that I knew....

“The very 1st time I saw him I knew he was the one.” How many times have you heard this? A lot?.... me too! “It’s like you don’t know what you are looking for but when you find him you definitely know.”

This almost fairytale message gives me so much hope and I am a believer.

Last night I had a horrible nightmare with my X lover and throughout the day I pulled all my coping strategies so I would not PANIC.

1- I spoke to myself in the shower

2- I cried

3- I journal

4- I listened to happy music

5- I wrote my feelings to two completely different people with polar personalities

6- I gave myself permission to think about him

7- I reminded myself of all the bad qualities he has

8- I reminded myself of all the great qualities that I have

9- I accepted the situation by reliving it and then I let it go

10- I went to the gym, as much as I hate going to that place I went.



So by mid-afternoon I was okay again and another important question dawned upon me.


Every winter my office-mates ask me what color I am going to paint my office. This Friday will make my 3rd year anniversary at this job, and for 3 years I could not decide on what color to paint my office. I just don’t like any of the colors I have seen and I did not want to COMMIT to PAINT.. that’s like eternal! I would stay white until I found the perfect color. So my aggressive me asked as politely as possible, “what the hell are you waiting for, pick a color” and then my passive me said as direct as possible, “I am not ready, I don’t like any of the colors, do not pressure me with my choice.”


Then as I was walking back to my office from my 20 minute cardio work out, I took a different route… (Oprah said I should take different routes when I am not feeling too great.) As I entered the “new” stair cases I suddenly saw birds, and lights, and angels and THE COLOR!!!

Aggressive and passive me both agreed that we could not only live with this color but it was a happy lavender.

LAVENDER is not in my favorite color schemes (but then I open up my blog page and feel silly, guess it is now)- but as soon as I saw the color I fell in love…...and just like that I knew it was the one!

"The one" has been staring about me all this time and closer then I thought and not in my "list" of things I like... guess that's just the way it goes.

So the hope is there…. One day I will see the birds, angels and lights with a man, my life partner.. until then... I will keep loving me and keeping hope alive.



Best,

Lunalove