Three years ago I was on the "N" train crossing the Brooklyn Bridge on my way to work. That weekend I had signed a 3 year lease on a 2008 car. It also coincided with my new job and my leap to new beginnings but I could only think about one thing, “What would my life be like 3 years from now, winter of 2010?” I thought, “Maybe I would be in a relationship.” Obviously we all know the answer to that one....
Three years later I am not in a relationship and due to the economy I returned the lease and opted to save money instead of owning a car. However, I learned some priceless lessons about letting go.
As I was returning my car I felt a sense of loss. I am very fortunate to have all my family members, even the ones I don’t like- therefore I have not experience a tragic loss. The biggest sense of loss has been with a boy leaving me- abandoning me. This is one of the reasons why when I get dumped it feels like a funeral (sometimes a Russian funeral because I bring out the Vodka). I just have not lost a lot of people or things in this lifetime (knock on wood)- well besides my wallet that I used to lose every season- but all of that was replaceable. It's hard for this lady to deal with relationship loss so life is teaching me how to "let go."
So....how would I deal with not having my baby Emmanuel, my car!! We shared so many great moments especially on my road trip to Georgia with my best friend and driving to D.C to see another X-lover. But none the less I took this weekend to get it together and made some connections between letting my car go and letting my past lover(s) go.
1- I no longer have to wake up early or stay up late looking for the right street to park my car in.
a. Without my X-lover I don’t have to worry if I am getting my period or what time he will call or if he will call and most importantly his snoring doesn’t wake me up. I dont have to WONDER!
2- I get to save money!
a. I have time for self development- like taking a cake decorating class which I am doing next month. Money equals freedom and without my X-lover I am flying solo and can be anywhere and leave at whatever time I please!
3- It’s done so I cant bring it back by thinking about it.
a. He left, so I cant bring him back by thinking about him. It's simple- i get the sitting in with feelings and dealing with them but after a while and its been about 6 months, he is not coming back! My thoughts can be used somewhere else.
4- I get to think of my next car
a. I get to think about my next lover- the one without he big nose, who doesn’t snores and sleeps with his sexually frustrated dog. I get to think about the next big thing!! YESSSSSSSSS
I cherish the moments and count the blessings and lessons that I learned but it’s OKAY to let go and move. (this is about my car and my X-lover)
So letting go just means more empty space or less baggage. As soon as I left the car dealership my purse was literally lighter and I’m applying the lightness to my heart-why chase someone who doesn’t want to be loved by me, its best to embrace the lightness I have because he is out of my awesome life!
Letting go is easier then I make it out to be- there is no point in holding on to a car/love that is no longer mine. It’s best to test drive new cars and lovers for my future investment.
..and just like the imagine I am a beautiful lady letting go of the balloons that I know are not coming back!
Best,
Lunalove
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