I read a book a while back “If the Buddha Dated” and it put a lot of my emotional desires into words; dating through fairness and compassions, without games and expectations but always keeping true to yourself and your partner’s well being. While I still follow a lot of these recommendations, I’ve also had to grow a tougher skin with men and dating.
Not all men are created equal. There are a lot of people in this world that do not have the same values as you do. This is a good thing, but how do you get to know what it is that you are looking for? Along with the wonderful journey of falling in love with your self are establishing boundaries, a back bone, being able to say no, being able to choose, being able to articulate what you need and want without guilt and ultimately taking care of your wholeness- having standards!
Listen men have standards, well most men do, its pretty much black or white with them and it might be a reason why they are “less confused.” So I’m getting standards or deal breakers. After wasting an outfit with someone who I would never speak to again, I realized that I need a clear list of- NOs. If this is not what is accessible to me then it’s a deal breaker, I’m sailing away and I’m learning how to control my ship pretty well so that it does not come back!
So here is the deal, I do think deal breakers are good. You have them because you know who you are! If you do not have them, you might want to think about getting one or two. Deal breakers are not meant to be a way to close the door on people but in a life where you/ I come first, I want to be able to have my feet grounded.
Deal breakers are not suppose to be superficial or ignorant but they are suppose to be true to you. They are not supposed to be defended with everyone around you, but they should be realistic. Important things in life have standards or a list of things that makes you eligible- a job, getting a loan, buying a house, even health/life insurance, so my life has to be just as important. I’m getting some deal breakers baby!!
My deal breakers are pretty much a self reflection of who I am and should often be revisited, afterall we grow and evolve. Be confident and get some deal breakers!
My Deal Breakers!
1- Patient-short temper people and I will never be good
2- Great hygiene and personal wellness, takes care of his body, mind and living environment, including his teeth and body odor, and the bed he sleeps in.
3- A job that he enjoys or feels satisfied with and can pay for a nice meal.
4- In the future would like to have children and raise them TOGETHER.
5- Short men- sorry.
6- Dresses age appropriate- includes no electronics, clothing that light up and tight shorts.
7- Can communicate easily about anything/if I feel like I am having a conference with a 4th grader or acting as your therapist, then it’s a deal breaker. “How’s does that make you feel?”
8- Picks up phone when I call, most of the time. Don’t ignore me!!!
9- Someone who doesn’t work for pleasure in the bed room (copyright ER)
10- I need to feel butterflies…come on.. this is life and love not a job interview
I’m keeping these deal breakers.. in the past I dated people that should not have made it, but because I didn’t have these standards, I wasted my time! Now I can enjoy more moments because my deal breakers are at work!
Top 3 most popular deal breakers from the ladies that were kind enough to share! Thank you!
1- Bad breath/ teeth/ dirty long finger/toe nails
2- Broke/Cheap/ Job less
3- No sense of humor or laughs at our jokes
My favorite- Some who talks about them and doesn’t ask me about me! Hahaha
What are some of your deal breakers!
By Lunalove
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