With all of the holiday cheers and all my single twitter-people or tweeps I got caught up with the joy of things. I usually hit the GREAT DEPRESSION when it comes to holidays. I get sad because I am single, I can not sleep, I over criticize every fiber of me and pick at all my insecurities. I either over plan my days or avoid everyone but this time around I felt peace and happiness instead of cold anxiety.
I’m excited about Christmas and what my family calls “Noche Buena.” I don’t even mind that I have to take a train to a bus to finally arrive to my mother’s house. I am bringing a pie because I want to. My mom’s policy is if you come without a plus one you do not have to bring anything, so I get to freeload off all the pluses. I just want to enjoy the songs, food (I think I’ve been enjoying this too much lately, but I’ll worry about this January 3rd), the laughter and the fact that I have a family that after all my bumps always welcome me home. Even with New Years eve- I haven’t thought that I will be dateless. I just want to leave the old and welcome the New Year with a warm big smile.
How did I get to this place of holiday peace? I think it was a lot of acceptance, zero tolerance for self-sabotaging and knowing and hoping that this is not forever. One day I will have the date on NYE and one day I will be asked to come and meet the parents and one day I will be stressing about what gift to buy my future boyfriend. I’m a catch- I know this will happen! For now, I want to embrace the peace and blessings that I have and think about all the possibilities and opportunities that 2011 can bring me.
I think I caught myself ;-)
Happy Holidays… best,
Lunalove
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