Left Over V-day Bliss!

Valentines is approaching and I have some new feelings about this.

I have always liked the idea of Valentine’s Day. Growing up my mother owned a flower shop and every man that came in there I felt in love with! The image of them walking into their home with a bouquet of roses was dazzling! Let’s not mention the other bouquet they sent to the other Miss and paid cash for.

I am big fan of flowers, chocolate, wine, champagne, quality romantic time and shared laughter, so of course I love this holiday.

For years however I have been single. I did the friends thing, the anti-V-day thing, the send yourself flowers thing, the “I will avoid it” thing and the “I have a date thing!!!”

The date was last Valentine....

Last year my X-lover took me to Atlantic City where we dined and wined and danced and well it was so romantic. It was a wonderful 24 hours that we spend together!

Driving there and back was perfect and the time we spent was full of fun and laughter. We got really close during that trip and I felt like such a special lady. So special that I am still satisfied- the left over romance of last year still satisfies my wants for a date and love this year. He has a new doll this year and I have some extra V-day bliss, so it all works out.

I guess the lesson here is obvious, sometimes you have good days and sometimes you don't. Just keep trusting and make the best out of what you have.

I am really excited to do nothing but wish everyone a Happy Friendship and Love Day—Cheers all and Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

How are you feeling about Valentine's Day?

Warmest regards,

Lunalove

New York, Can I have it all?

Earlier this week I attended a professional development conference in New Orleans, Louisiana. I was surrounded by experts, professionals and leaders in my field. It was a great experience and I came back to my NYC job full of ideas for my department to move forward. Ok,this blog is not going to be about my findings and notes which I still have to put together and email my colleagues but its about something more serious: I saw a huge question mark!

At the moment, my field like many others continues to change because those who once hoarded this field are now dying or retiring which is leaving room for younger professionals to take leadership roles. I myself have just stepped into one of those positions at age 27. Three years ago a career adviser told me that by the time I was 40 I could be assistant director or director, well – I can’t wait to send him my new business card. YAY

Anyway, out of the 800 professionals from all over the country, there were the few 40-45 professionals who were between the ages of 26-36. It was strange to see them there and after getting over the small shock I approached each and every one of them over the course of 3 days and did the small talk, only to find out that they were young, mostly women, leading professionals and married!!!!!

Stunning rings and impressive titles- Hello Universe, are you reading this? It’s all I want!! And don’t judge me because there is nothing wrong with wanting to be married and starting a family.

Sarah Palin, Jennifer Lopez, Hilary Clinton...why can they have it all?

How was this possible? When did they find the time to work over time, write proposals, never fail, rise above challenges, get pushed around by tenured faculty AND date, commit and marry? Did they have friends, were they happy, did they sell their souls to the devil and why did they look so happy? Ok, let’s continue the small talk…. "So what school do you work for?" "Oh where is that?" A small town in... Minnesota, Colorado, Seattle, a city in Texas that I still can’t pronounce...and I am bilingual, New Hampshire, Upstate NY (been to that small town..yikes), North Carolina, Illinois- "oh yes I know Illinois…Chicago I said." “Oh no it’s about a two hour drive from the airport, it’s a small town.” OH. I was not going to give up my research now, so I actually download a map application to figure out where these towns were...this felt horrible as I was GREAT at USA geography.

OH SHIT Einstein! This is the very important variable….AHHHHHA. Is NYC the problem? After all…location, location, location.

I did meet a 34 year old women who was engaged from the tri-state area…well Jersey City, but isn’t that a city? yea, a 34 year old bride.....but im not judging.

I am not making any excuses but most of the time I am mentally and physically exhausted and meeting someone is the last thing I think about. I go to the bar to get a drink, period! I don't want to talk about work and what i do, that's why i am drinking, and i don't care about your Wall Street job, they all sound the same...BORING!

I also love giving to my career and I am not willing to give any less. So I will do what is logical, point my finger at another direction.

Are men in NYC even thinking about commitment and marriage and dating a successful independent young professional lady with character?  Men in other cities, towns or communities do not sign up for online dating, they do however marry. They marry because after college, you have a few years to yourself; you pick a career, then you pick a lady and marry her. They are logical! You marry her because it’s part of life’s expectations to settle down and start a family before your libido stops or more importantly because its what is important in life…love and family and taking turns doing the dishes.

I dated a guy who was using maca power, an indigenous ingredient to keep it up! Why didn’t he stop and think about settling down 5 years before his 34th birthday? Well because he was living the NYC bachelor life to the fullest at age 34...all alone because his buddies got the memo and are happy going to their 2 year old play date. But he is left dating 26 year old who he feels are to passionate for him. Drink more maca if you are reading this and things would be leveled.

Another factor is that there are so many women in NYC that men can select the model looking one. I noticed that the women at the conference were not close to being super models, if anything I felt like the skinny bitch around them asking for my dressing on the side and choosing either dessert or an appetizer...why could they have both? Appetizer/dessert and career/marriage?

Ok, back to NYC where I feel like a fat cow and where weight watchers is my relationship.

Choices choices choices…..well I can move to a small town and live the fairytale life where a guy sees me in the supermarket, asks me for my number, courts me for 6 months and takes to the altar.

Or

I could filter the NYC drama and get over it by adding MORE confidence to SELF.

I am looking at the Universe and fearlessly saying, I will have it all. I will have my career which makes me happy, I will buy my own property in the near future, I will find the man that looks like Mark Sanchez and Damon Salvatore, I will eat an appetizer and dessert at dinner time and I will marry and still live in the city
that is home to me.

The plan is simple- just keep doing what i am doing, after all 2011 is my year!

I can have it all..... in.....NEW YORK.

Hit me up if someone wants to explore Jersey City with me.. LOL!

Feeling great,
Lunalove

Tea & Hope

And so it is that the Universe is very kind to me. Last night I met up with a very nice guy. He was a gentleman and it’s very pleasant to meet a nice soul.

1- He planned the date
2- He added very intelligent and funny points to our conversation
3- He asked important questions
4- He was very polite
5- He walked to me to the train station
6- He made me feel special
7- He texted me when I got home and asked if I would like to have dinner with him.

See, I don’t ask for much! He was very sweet and I had a very good time. I think we could be very good friends.

Why friends? Well, to be honest he was shorter than me. I’m beginning to feel like a giant these days.

My Universe likes to laugh so of course I wore my 3 inch heels and the coffee lounge was stand only. Throughout the night I was reminded that there was a height difference, but besides his shortcoming…. (LOL) I still would go on a second date because it is nice to be around smart, ambitious, sweet, and respectful men.

Thank you dear Universe for adding flame to my Hope Kettle...I am trusting you!

Best,
Lunalove

I love pork but that is an ugly pig! Am I expecting too much?

I am not going to:
Wash my hair. Straighten my hair. Get a manicure. Wear my going out coat because it’s not warm enough. Wear my skinny jeans or a dress. Wear my 3 inch booties. Use my expensive perfume. Read up on the latest political, economic and social news. Go for drinks because they are now 4 points and no longer 2 points and I rather save them for my social nights with my girls.

These are all small rituals that I do when getting ready for a date. I make sure I look my best, smell my best and my mind is up to date with things we can discuss. Am I trying to hard? NO!!! This is the least I can do for someone who is taking their time to meet up with me. There is only one requirement- he must do the same thing. What is the least he could do?

I expect:
Brush your teeth. Make sure your breath is OK. Arrive on time (I’ve worked on this). Plan the date in advance. Wear something presentable. Be able to talk about things so that you could STOP staring at my boobies.

Am I expecting too much?
For those who say yes, I will not give up. I will not settle. I know what I am looking for and what I deserve. Chivalry is expected. I compliment your shirt, you should find something, my scent, my hair, my jewelry, my outfit, my smile--- SOMETHING to compliment. Grow some balls and compliment the lady, after all you are on a date not meeting up with your BFF. You say you will find a place- then text or email me the place in advance because I don’t want to walk into a dive bar with my J-Crew jacket or to a A-list wine bar with my sneakers. Your local bar that is around the corner from your apartment doesn’t count as finding a place. Please tell your friends AKA the bartenders to stop staring at me. Also, if this is your local bar- no big deal, the bill was $9.00- I had one drink you had two, so why did I put in more than half? My cab ride to and form was $30.00! I am all about going dutch but that was not dutch; math is not my strength but I'm pretty sure of that. But after all I am a kind person and I gave us the opportunity so I laughed and I made the best out of it. I asked you questions and I was polite.... but don’t take my kindness for something else......NOOOO, I don’t want to see your apartment; I have fallen for that trick already pal. Are you really 34 years old?

Well no big deal buddy!
You picked an inconvenient bar at the last minute- so I know the phrase “treat her like a lady” means nothing to you. You were one hour late- so how important was this? Lastly, you bashed a religious faith, your former faith/culture and that of your ancestors (you are lucky it wasn’t mine but it sure made me uncomfortable) Yes, I will cut you off because I don't want to hear anymore about your tattoo and your anti-religious expressions. I love pork but that is an UGLY PIG..hmm there's a parallel here.

So I have a choice—do I give up?
Or do I applauded my courage and pray that the Universe will continue to nurture my HOPE. Yes, that’s what I will do. I will find butterflies again.

My great friend StellaBunz once told me, “you know what you want and that’s amazing” I didn’t see what was so amazing about that but now I do.

I know what I want and I am going to hold that close to me.

So the next date I might just wear a pony tail because it’s on Thursday and my “wash my hair” doesn’t come up again until Friday. I also want tea because I am not using 4 points on another 1st date. I’ve decided to wear my special perfume on the second date. Daisy’s from Marc Jacobs hasn’t been on sale in months.


PS. If this sounds like i am angry- I AM! But it's only a matter of time before it leaves my system. :)
XoS,
Lunalove321

Re-learning a lesson

This week I kept wondering if I am single because I continue to make the same mistakes while dating. I asked myself, “Do I date outside the box?” “Do I learn from my mistakes? “What are of the lessons I’ve learned?” Gathering the lessons was hard and I still kept telling myself “grow up, it’s time to grow up!”

Life spoke to me loudly last night. Life let me take this test again.

C was supposed to come over for dinner. We have been talking for a little more than a year but things have always been casual. While I have a good time with him I also know he isn’t ready for a monogamist relationship. In the New Year I decide to color outside of the lines. I invited him for dinner. He has been asking to taste my cooking since this summer. He was very excited and we set 7pm Friday night.

I enjoy cooking- it puts me in a trance that I really enjoy. Thursday night I went to Key Foods and bought all the ingredients for this meal. I carried them up to my apartment and seasoned the chicken. Friday morning I woke up early to wash and blow out my hair and I rushed home Friday afternoon to get started. I kept justifying cooking for this guy by telling myself that I love to do it- but honestly this was becoming a project.

7pm I received a text that he was going to be late and instead of over reacting I stayed calm.

Now it was 8, 9, 9:15, 9:40…I send him a text and he apologized but he needed to shower because he just got a haircut. Reasonable, but why get a haircut on a Friday when you had dinner plans…then lighting struck!

I am not his priority not even for this night; a night that took me a lot of work to pull together. All I want is to be someone’s priority or come before a haircut….at least for one night.

I wasn’t sure I wanted him over- I was hungry and I took the knife and craved the chicken and ate my plate of delicious roasted chicken with Spanish rice.

So many things ran through my head:
1- In a relationship you must be patient
2- In a relationship you must be flexible
3- In a relationship you must be kind
4- In a relationship…

WAIT- I wasn’t in a relationship and I was kind enough by shopping, cooking, cleaning and waiting for him.

I was here before- waiting for a guy, making him a priority and being really flexible, cooking and then not being appreciated. I wanted to show myself that I had some respect for me. I called him.

I told him I’ve been waiting and 11pm was not my idea of dinner especially when I had been working hard all week. I told him I was tired and he asked to reschedule. He heard my silence and I nodded.

He then played the sad puppy card “it’s all my fault, I’m sorry” and I said thank you but its bed time not dinner time.

I’m not sure if in the dating world this is a good thing or I just ended up alone again on a Friday night- but this morning I felt like I got an A+ on the same test I once scored a C-.

Thanks Life…I know I am going somewhere!

Best,
Lunalove

11 things I love right now!

Today is 1-11-11 and while it is just like any other day, I wanted to send the Universe a message. This is 11 things I am grateful for and bring me happiness.

11- My Android Galaxy- its all I need to manage my life- Mint to manage my finances, points calculator to manage my calories, OkCupid to manage my dates. :)

10- The Jets made the playoffs!!! Besides seeing Mark Sanchez in his aggressive sexy game, I’ve enjoyed football season more then ever because of the beautiful ladies and gentlemen I watch it with. We need our own Meet-up club for the Spring.

9- My huge winter jacket- its not pretty but it keeps me warm so I am not afraid of the cold anymore. This way I get to mingle despite the NYC frigidness.

8- All the single ladies on twitter and their tweets and blogs about dating. It’s great to have a community of people who are on similar journeys- cheers!

7- Self and Glamour Magazine- they are the perfect combination of health, beauty and life tips.. for now.

6- My DVR- I get home and get to watch Sex and the City (again) Chelsea Lately and the round table- including Ross, Josh, Sarah, Chuy and Jo Joy who I am seeing this month. Rules of Engagement, Modern family, The Vampire Diaries and all my favorite shows when ever I please!

5- Weight Watchers Point Plus- I get to eat healthy, feel good and loss weight. I made it through the 1st week and nothing is stopping me now. I feel so mature when I get in the kitchen and prepare a healthy meal. It’s giving me control and I’m feeling really good.

4- I still have a job and although I’m waiting for the official certificate I am counting on my tenure! It’s been 3 years and I feel confident about the work I do. It’s a good feeling.

3- My horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler- this book gave me confidence- very few things can give me that….thank you!

2- My apartment- oh boy what a haven..5 months in and I never take it for granted! Netflix, bed, comfy sofa, peace, silence, tranquility… priceless—well it comes with a price tag.

1- My 16 year old cousin wrote this on her tumbler about me- I humbly bow to her light!
"You have always been one of the most influential people to me. You have also never failed to show how much you love me. You are one of the most brilliant, amazing women I know and if I could be anything like you when I’m older I’d be one of the most grateful and luckiest people alive. The most important thing that I’ve learned from you growing up, is that it’s always possible to rise from your mistakes, no matter how much damage is done. I can go on and on about what you’ve taught me but you are truly one of the greatest people I know. I love you so much."



Have you counted your blessings today? What’s on your 11 list?

Love and light,
Luna

Sweet Pumpkin Pie

I think I have a crush on my neighbor down below.

He lives downstairs from me with his very sweet girlfriend- Desiree. Back in September I invited my some friends over to a “happy hour” at my place. The happy hour turned out to be many many many hours and after a few too many glasses of wine, sangria and beer I decided to go outside for some air.

That’s when I saw Texas, let’s call him Texas- I think he is from Texas. I like guys from Texas.

When I drink I get SUPER happy and EVERYONE is my BFF. So I greeted him and I can’t remember what I said but two weeks later he felt like I had opened a line of communication with him and he asked if he could borrow my internet. I was on my way out for drinks that night and said yes anytime. (But I don’t think I really meant it- see I’m from New York, we don’t let strangers into our apartment)

He came the next morning and I looked like a NYC M2 bus hit me and then the ferry took me for a ride.

I let him in but suddenly my protective senses (PS) woke up. My PS are always on vacation, I’m the girl you see in the train station with her wallet wide open because I never think that anything bad is going to happen to moi. This morning they told me to tell him that I didn’t know my password to my Lunalove internet account and I had a brunch to go to so he needed to leave. I’m hardly ever that mean- gosh, stupid PS.

Months had gone by and I’ve missed his sweet, friendly non-Yorker accent- well I was bored and the NYC blizzard was giving me cabin fever and he was the closest thing to a male species. I decided to bake a pumpkin pie- I love to bake! I drank a bottle of wine by myself, I love wine also—don’t judge me, and decided to go downstairs and offer him pie, after all, isn’t that what good neighbors do?... in the movies.

To my sad surprise he wasn’t home- he was playing with his band (oh how sexy- I wondered where he plays?) and his sweet Desiree answered the door to a girl (me) with a tight white T-shirt on, no bra, and a pumpkin pie saying the following,

“Hi, is your boyfriend here, I baked him a pie. I felt bad because he came upstairs one morning and I couldn’t attend to his needs, I was wondering if he was home and wanted some pie.” and then I gave her the warmest smile ever.

That’s when I knew she wasn’t from NY either, if it was the other way around I would have lost it- who did I think I was!!!!!!!!!! She took the pie, thanked me for my kindness and closed the door. I took my accomplished ass back upstairs and ate my slice of the pie. End of story….

…..until yesterday when Mr. Sweet Texas runs into me as I was coming home and with a big smile said “thanks for the delicious pie” and I said “uh? What pie?” He smiled, and then I said “Oh yea, anytime.. happy new year!”

I'm kinda turned on...Now I can’t wait to bake for Valentine’s day… after all isn't food the way to a man's heart. LOL!

All in good spirit,
Lunalove